08/02/2012 05:32 pm ET

Farrah Abraham, Teen Mom, Reveals Battle With Postpartum Depression

In addition to her on-screen drama as a single mother and her troubled relationship with her own mom, Debra Danielson, "Teen Mom" star Farrah Abraham says she secretly had mental health issues.

"All I could think about was killing myself," Abraham admitted in a interview with In Touch magazine, detailing the year of partying and drug use leading up to her suicidal thoughts.

Two years after Abraham welcomed her daughter, Sophia, now 3, and mourned the death of her daughter’s father, Derek Underwood, who died in a car crash two months before Sophia was born, her grief and depression hit their peak, she told the magazine.

“I figured I would drown myself in the bathtub -- that seemed like the easiest way to go,” Abraham told In Touch, details of her depression which she's also written in a memoir entitled "My Teenage Dream Ended," slated for release on August 14.

In the first chapter of the book, Abraham writes:

I got off the phone and tried to calm down, but my mind was racing. Derek was the father of the baby I was carrying inside me. He was my first love, my only true love. We hadn’t spoken in more than two months, but I had still believed we had a future together—me, him, and our baby, as one happy family. It’s every teenage girl’s dream, right? You meet a boy, you fall in love, and then one day you have a family and grow old together, happily ever after. 'Til death do us part.

Now Derek was gone forever, and so was my happy ending.

In a statement partially noted on Abraham's Facebook fan page, her father reportedly responded to her news:

I will say this… yes I am not a perfect father…and I wish I could have did many things differently that might have made things work out better for my daughter … but my prayers have been answered seeing how Farrah took the responsibility and steps to insure that she has been and is there for Sophia.

In June, Abraham's "Teen Mom" co-star Amber Portwood described her own suicide attempt, explaining to "GMA" that she took roughly 30 Suboxone -- a drug used to treat opioid addiction -- over the course of three days.

Portwood was sentenced to five years in prison over domestic violence charges involving her ex-fiance, Gary Shirley.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.



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