08/23/2012 04:52 pm ET

Tori Spelling Says She Lacked Self-Confidence In Letter To Younger Self

Former "Beverly Hills, 90210" star Tori Spelling hasn't always had the self-confidence she has today. The 39-year-old posted a letter to her 21-year-old self on her website, and offered a few kernels of wisdom:

"I would tell 21-year-old Tori that she's strong, beautiful, smart, and can do anything that she sets her mind to. At 21, my biggest obstacle (well aside from a bad boyfriend) was myself. I lacked such self-confidence that I constantly stood in my own way. Although I don't believe in regrets and think every moment makes us the women and moms we ultimately become, it would be nice to give this advice!"

According to the Daily Mail, the bad boyfriend she's referring to is likely Nick Savalas, who was emotionally and verbally abusive to Spelling. In 1995, Spelling ended her two-year relationship with Savalas, which had taken a toll on her self-esteem. The U.K. paper reports that the actress turned reality star once admitted to Entertainment Weekly that her relationship with Savalas was a "nightmare."

"He was never physically abusive, but he was verbally abusive, telling me 10 times a day how ugly I was," she revealed.

Spelling's rocky relationship with her mother, Candy, also didn't help her in the self-esteem department. In her 2008 memoir, "sTORI Telling," she recalled getting ready for a family portrait and asking her mother, "Am I pretty?" She looked at me and said, "You will be when we get your nose done."

"I was stunned," she wrote. "My nose, as noses tend to be, was right in the middle of my face, and I had just been told that it was ugly. So long, innocence."

The actress's lack of self-confidence likely contributed to her decision to get breast implants, a surgery she's said she now wishes she never underwent.

"Well, I got my boobs done in my early 20s and if I had known it would or could possibly have impacted production of milk I would never had had them done. I love being a mom. I am on my third baby," Spelling told "Good Morning America" in 2011. “We want to have more.”

Though she might have struggled in the past, today she's found herself, is pregnant with her fourth child, and is a stepmother to her second husband Dean McDermott's teenage son.

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