09/05/2012 10:53 am ET

"But You Have Such A Pretty Face" And Other Things You Should Stop Saying To Your Fat Friends

“But you have such a pretty face!”

I am willing to throw down my savings account and bet that every single fat girl in the world has heard this at least once. This week. It has been so imprinted in our brains that “fat” is a bad word, that we simply cannot help ourselves and jump to the defense of any – self-proclaimed or not – fat/chunky/big girl whenever one of those words is thrown her way. Fat is real, you guys! It is an actual thing. And not every fat girl spends her nights alone in her room depressed about it and cutting out photos of supermodels to hang on her refrigerator to remind her to go for the celery instead of that dark chocolate bar stashed in the back. In an effort to explain how some big girls get through life not obsessed with eliminating their fatness, I’ve compiled a list of things that you should probably stop saying to your fat friends. Starting with that first one:

But you have such a pretty face!

I’ve heard this one a lot and this is not a humble brag at all because after you hear it a few times, you start to think that people are saying it not because they think it’s true, but because they want to make you feel better about being fat. To which I say (and this is a straight up brag): Yeah. I know. My face is pretty fly! Fat and pretty (or hot or sickeningly beautiful or a bomb dime piece) are not mutually exclusive. You can be both. At the same time. Telling us that we have a pretty face can sometimes come off as if you think that that’s all we’ve got going for us and we would be worthless without it. Thank goodness you’ve got that pretty face, girl! Because if I didn’t? Would I be summoned to the life of a hermit, only leaving my apartment to pay the guy who delivers my groceries and the occasional emergency trip for toilet paper? Because what else do I have to offer the world!?

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