09/14/2012 05:50 pm ET

My Open, Sexless Marriage

picture of couple in...
picture of couple in...

I first met Ryan at a Brown Literary Arts Department soiree. In a room full of reedy MFA candidates discussing Derrida’s Writing and Difference like it was an episode of Room Raiders, his sturdy frame, buzzed hair, and citron soccer jersey stuck out. From the moment I heard his almost scarily deep belly laugh and found out that he, too, grew up in the yawning northern suburbs of Atlanta and had a propensity for bar fights and tasteless jokes, we were best friends.