09/14/2012 12:30 pm ET

Things People Say After A Break Up

Though I hate Twitter, I compulsively and masochistically look at the trending topics. Often they’re ridiculous and broad, but sometimes they’re hilarious. The big one trending today is: #ThingsPeopleSayAfterABreakUp. Shiz is heartless like Kanye, ya’ll. But who hasn’t said something they deeply regretted following the end of a relationship. Or better yet, maybe you ZINGED your ex real good. In which case, I want to hear about it. I wanted to watch you say the perfect one-liner as you stroll away, hair perfect in the breeze, not looking back as their car explodes behind you. Just…cool.

Most likely though you just yelled something unintelligible and terrible. I want to hear that too!

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