09/14/2012 11:52 am ET Updated Sep 14, 2012

Top 9 Worst Ways to Explain To Your Kids Where Babies Come From

It’s the question every parent dreads: "Mom, where do babies come from?" If you’re worried that the birds and the bees or the stork talk won’t stop them from asking again until they’re 18, there are other ways of breaking the news. But you might want to think long and hard before you try one of these other tactics. (And for your sake, we really hope they’re not asking because they walked in on you last night.)

9. Take a field trip to a farm.

8. Stage a very anatomically specific puppet show.

7. Tell them that new babies arrive when another baby gets wet after midnight.

6. I don't know, drop them off at the Family section of Barnes & Noble or something?

5. Have them ask their Dad.

4. Watch a horrifying 1960s filmstrip in 7th grade health class like the rest of us.

3. Tell them the hospital has one of those claw games, and it's full of babies.

2. Show them the video of their own births.

1. Tell them you have absolutely no idea.