09/25/2012 03:27 pm ET

Comedian's National Anthem, By Myq Kaplan and Micah Sherman, Includes Every Catchphrase (VIDEO)

Warning, some NSFW language.

Myq Kaplan and Micah Sherman's musical comedy album, "Please Be Seated," comes out today, and if you ever wanted to hear George Carlin's "seven dirty words" sound patriotic, they've fulfilled your (strangely specific) desire in "Comedian's National Anthem."

Kaplan and Sherman, both stand-up comedians, have distilled a half-century of stand-up comedy into a two-minute anthem -- literally. They took the "The Star-Spangled Banner," removed all the explosions and flags, and replaced them with catchphrases from the likes of Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock and pretty much every other stand-up comic from the last half-century.

In fairness, Francis Scott Key stole the tune from an old drinking song, so Kaplan and Sherman are just following in the footsteps of patriots. Watch the animated video above, and check out the album here.