09/27/2012 12:54 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Malik's Personal Ad Gets VERY Specific About Desirable Women (PHOTO)

Ladies, don't you hate the games men play while dating? It's like, come on fellas! Just tell us what you want! We're not mind-readers here!

A New York City hotshot named Malik is not one of those men. He has evidently been posting a highly detailed personal ad around Manhattan for at least three years, but has evidently had no luck -- a slightly updated version of the ad has recently been spotted in Times Square.

His lack of success is hard to believe, based on the very specific details he's looking for in a dating partner. You had better qualify in every area, including ethnicity, body type (VERY busty), sexual desires (into threesomes and foursomes), among others. And if you don't fit his qualifications for favorite sports teams, color or music, don't even think about. Also, porn stars are welcome. So don't be shy, porn stars.

Word of warning: "BE REAL when calling about this ad!" Whether this is legit or a prank, it gave us a good laugh.

(via Jordi Scott)

personal ad