10/05/2012 01:24 pm ET

My Stepfather Steps Up

Daddy’s not here too much anymore. Mom’s dating. She’s dating ministers. She’s dating rabbis. She’s dating Bob Hirschfield (great guy). She’s dating Louis Begley (sweet guy). She has made me man of the house, and I have my eye out for who’s going to cut the mustard and pay the bills.

When Mr. Ben Heller walks in, I know he’ll do both. Charming in the beginning, stern now and then, but basically pretty terrific: a man’s man. We always call him Mr. Heller.

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