COMEDY
11/01/2012 03:27 pm ET Updated Jan 01, 2013

6 Bizarre Factors That Predict Every Presidential Election

Despite what the pundits, talking heads and NPR tell you, the presidential election is still a crapshoot. You think you know what's going to happen, then BAM! The president of the United States takes a Xanax/Thanksgiving turkey cocktail before a debate. Wouldn't it be great if you could shut out that political noise and predict the outcome of every presidential election based on completely ridiculous and arbitrary factors?

Guess what? You totally can. Just go by...

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