Elmo, what have you done? Somehow, the last week has seen Elmo morph from a cuddly monster to a regular monster. Between the accusations that his puppeteer had an inappropriate relationship with a minor and the resurfacing of the infamous (and unauthorized) anti-Semitic Elmo, we're worried that even more allegations about Elmo's behavior will surface and sully the name of our former favorite Muppet.
Here are a few more Elmo bombshells we assume are on the way.
- Will be touring with a Left-Eye hologram
- Doesn't think the '90s were cool
- Told your crush you like-like him
- Loves veal
- Fiscally liberal, socially conservative
- Acquired Lucasfilm
- Hooks up with his friends' exes
- Made Romney seek his endorsement
- Got really fat
- Visited Bernie Madoff in jail
- Had an affair with David Petreaus
- Loves "Sex & the City 2"
- Keeps sending Farmville requests
- Has an animated GIF Twitter avatar
- Buys blood diamonds
- Regularly eats at Chick-fil-A
- Briefly dated Lindsay Lohan
- Drinks non-fair trade coffee
- Tells friends he's thinking about making a viral video
- Still quoting "Anchorman"
- Drives a Hummer
- Frequents Reddit's Men's Rights section
- Undertips
- Dumped Taylor Swift
- Buy puppies from Petco
- Spams strangers offering to help them create a more dynamic social media presence
- Films stand-up comedy sets on his iPhone to post on YouTube
- Big Chris Brown fan
- Keeps unironically RTing @RealDonaldTrump
Related
Before You Go
