12/05/2012 09:01 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2012

Schmendricks Bagels Slammed By Village Voice Food Critic (PHOTOS)

Oh, Village Voice. How we've respected thee.

We’ve linked to your articles. We sat by quietly when you gushed about NYC's "best sourdough bread;" sourdough that allegedly rivals San Francisco's. We crossed the Brooklyn Bridge and gazed at the engineering marvel that is almost as long as the Golden Gate, save a pesky 3,000 feet. We even smiled politely when New Yorkers called Oakland "the new Brooklyn."

Those days are over. Those days were over the moment you devoted an entire article to trash-talking San Francisco's beloved Schmendricks bagels.

Earlier this week, Village Voice food critic Robert Sietsema took aim at San Francisco's popular new bagel dealer, which sells self-proclaimed "Brooklyn bagels."

"Balderdash!" dared Sietsema, calling the bagels "runty" and peppering his article with sarcasm. "I asked [San Francisco correspondent Tracy Van Dyk] what she thought of Schmendricks' pretentious and expensive bages. Her reply was terse: 'Outside is way too tough. Bagel is tiny. It's also a bit yeasty tasting. Very hard to chew through.'"

Listen, you pizza-folding, Woody Allen-loving, cab-hailing Northeasterners: We like our $3 bagels. We like them just fine. And if you don't like them, maybe you should head back to whatever borough you came from.

Don't get lost in the fog on your way out.

Check these other stereotypically New York things in which San Francisco excels:

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