12/12/2012 02:49 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Duke Cannon, Soap Company, Claims To Cure 'Mangina'

Is there a man in your life who has been using "unmanly" shower and bath products? According to one unfunny soap company, it's likely that he's been inflicted with a case of "mangina," for which the only cure is (surprise!) that company's products.

Duke Cannon Supply Co., purveyor of army green "big ass bricks of soap," presents "mangina" as a medical condition which must be eradicated using, you guessed it, big ass bricks of soap. According to the company's website, men who have "mangina" exhibit symptoms such as shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch, liking LMFAO and spending their hard-earned dollars on bottle service and fancy cars. And in case you're not quite sure what you're looking for, the website features a handy-dandy stock photo of a dude who looks to be what can only be described as a complete tool.

mangina symptoms

And what causes such symptoms? Estrogen-infested "feminine shower gels," of course! And if you use a loofah, you're supposedly even more susceptible. It remains unclear what estrogen (which men have too) or femininity have to do with vaguely annoying spending habits, but Duke Cannon seems to believe that enough dudes are sufficiently terrified of estrogen and femininity and the pansy-ish fancy man behavior they supposedly cause to look past the flawed logic and buy, buy, buy.

Jezebel's Lindy West sums up the underlying messages of Duke Cannon's ad campaign well:

Yes, nothing is quite so funny as the notion of a man having a lady-cavern instead of a man-rod! Can you imagine? A man with a vagina? Why, it'd be almost like being...a WOMAN. Or a man. With a vagina. And then who would rule the earth with penisy wisdom and might? Because, as everyone knows, vaginas are dread black holes that absorb all traces of intelligence, humor, and taste.

We say, more power to the dudes who want to use Cucumber Melon/Vanilla Bean/Pomegranate-scented body washes. After all, who doesn't want to smell delicious?

Also, this exists on the Duke Cannon website. Oy:
duke cannon mangina

[H/T Jezebel]



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