01/04/2013 02:06 pm ET

When Just Not Inviting Them Simply Won’t Do: How To Tell Someone They Can’t Come To Your Wedding

Just after college, a friend of mine mentioned he was getting married, and I expected to be among the guests. Cut to a few months later, and suddenly mutual friends were discussing plans for the upcoming shindig. I bugged a friend with an invite and found out it was not an oversight, which stung (I was an ex-girlfriend, and naively thought our longer tenure as friends would trump that). Still, I can't imagine how it would have felt to receive what appeared to be an invite, only to open the envelope and realize it was an announcement of the wedding letting me know I would not be attending.