01/08/2013 09:44 am ET

Unpopular Opinion: Get Out Of My Gay Bar, Straight Girl

It’s 11:30, the club is bumpin’ bumpin’, and I’m contemplating a hate crime.

Wednesday night is ladies night (as is ladies who like ladies night, not a night celebrating everyone’s vulva with half-priced vodka tonics), and I’ve wormed into a sliver of much-coveted bathroom mirror space to painstakingly reapply my signature (in my head) shade of Yves St. Laurent lippy.

Read more on xo Jane