01/08/2013 07:48 am ET Updated Mar 10, 2013

Warning! Buy Art Because You Like It Not Because It Might Make You A Profit

When I was a young comedian, travelling the country at night to try to get three laughs in Bolton, I occasionally used to imagine I was living in a Crimewatch re-enactment.
All those dark alleyways and empty car parks, all those lonely petrol stations with one unnerving truck-driver sweating over a curling sandwich: the only thing missing from the footage of my certain death was a stern policeman's voiceover.

It may be just a sign that I am less neurotic, or that my life is less alarming, but nowadays I am more likely to wonder if I am living in an episode of Brass Eye. And the vague sense that Chris Morris is watching me is never more likely to come upon me than at an art exhibition.

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