Warning! Buy Art Because You Like It Not Because It Might Make You A Profit

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A butterfly lands on the head of a gallery assistant in a display room entitled 'In and Out of Love (White Paintings and Live Butterflies)' during the launch of the exhibition by British artist Damien Hirst showcasing work spanning two decades at the Tate Modern in central London on April 2, 2012. AFP PHOTO / CARL COURT (Photo credit should read CARL COURT/AFP/Getty Images)
A butterfly lands on the head of a gallery assistant in a display room entitled 'In and Out of Love (White Paintings and Live Butterflies)' during the launch of the exhibition by British artist Damien Hirst showcasing work spanning two decades at the Tate Modern in central London on April 2, 2012. AFP PHOTO / CARL COURT (Photo credit should read CARL COURT/AFP/Getty Images)

When I was a young comedian, travelling the country at night to try to get three laughs in Bolton, I occasionally used to imagine I was living in a Crimewatch re-enactment.
All those dark alleyways and empty car parks, all those lonely petrol stations with one unnerving truck-driver sweating over a curling sandwich: the only thing missing from the footage of my certain death was a stern policeman's voiceover.

It may be just a sign that I am less neurotic, or that my life is less alarming, but nowadays I am more likely to wonder if I am living in an episode of Brass Eye. And the vague sense that Chris Morris is watching me is never more likely to come upon me than at an art exhibition.

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