01/23/2013 01:21 pm ET

Ladies, The National Review Has Got The Perfect Gun For All Your Needs

I think that if the Atlantic gets to run what amounts to advertorial content about the Church of Scientology, it's only natural that the National Review would choose to post an advertisement for the manufacturers of AR-15 semi-automatic rifles. The neat little twist is that Celia Bigelow and Aubrey Blankenship are doing a bit of demographic targeting, positioning the weapon as the ideal self-defense tool for ladies:

Sorry, President Obama. As young women, we prefer an AR-15 “assault” rifle with a 30-round magazine for self-defense.

In fact, we wouldn’t want to be stuck at home without one. In the wake of mass murders like Sandy Hook and the horrific rapes and murders of thousands of women each year, pepper spray, mace, or five-round handheld pistols aren’t going to cut it.

So what’s a girl to do? When choosing our tool for home defense, we want the best — in accuracy, handling, and aesthetics. The best choice by all three criteria is — hands down — the AR-15.

Yes, I can't really quibble with the selling points, here: "The AR-15 is lightweight and practical. As light as five pounds, it produces low levels of recoil, and it’s easy to shoot. It also looks intimidating, which is what you want when facing an assailant or intruder." Indeed, if you doubt that the AR-15 is intimidating, there are a lot of moviegoers in Aurora, Colo., who can disabuse you of that notion.

The authors very stirringly make their case for the AR-15 as the choice of self-defense for discerning women:

We are rational women who, as law-abiding citizens, understand the need — and the right — to defend ourselves. We don’t want to be caught underprepared in the kind of desperate situation that happens too frequently to people across America.

There is a sort of weird tradition in America where the same people who would deny certain groups of citizens all sorts of rights nevertheless go to great lengths to assure that the same disenfranchised groups have guns. For example, the residents of the District of Columbia are famously denied Congressional representation, but Congress has nevertheless gone to the mattresses in an effort to ensure that everyone who lives within its boundaries can heavily arm themselves. I am constantly amused by the way they haven't thought through the consequences of these directives to the logical end point.

To wit: The only thing that stops a bad man with a transvaginal ultrasound wand is a good woman with an AR-15. (Besides laws that actually respect the rights and autonomy of women, that is.)

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