01/30/2013 02:50 pm ET Updated Nov 11, 2013

Hillary Clinton Is Already Ruining 2016 For Everybody, Apparently

In the real world of actual human life and interaction, there are a lot of things to look forward to in the next four years. There are birthdays and graduations and some Olympics and a World Cup and a new Justin Timberlake album and a third season of Sherlock where we'll finally find out how (SPOILER) the titular character pulled off that staged suicide -- gads, it is just maddening!

In the world of politics, however, there is only the 2016 election to look forward to and right now, Hillary Clinton is just ruining everything! She's all, "Guys, I think I'm just going to chillax for a while after being secretary of state," but this is so selfish because people are waiting for her to declare her intention to run for the White House and can brook no delay, according to Chris Cillizza:

It’s, of course, understandable that Clinton would like some rest and relaxation after living for more than two decades in the white-hot national spotlight. (Think about it: Clinton has been one of the most high-profile figures in America from 1992 until now. That’s a pretty amazing run.)

Political reality, however, means that Clinton likely won’t have as much time to luxuriate in not working — and not thinking about whether she wants to run in 2016 — as she might want.

But she can have a weekend, right? Maybe just go to brunch on Sunday and come home and curl up with Rebecca Dana's new memoir or something? No! Because Hillary Clinton is both the "first domino to fall on the 2016 board" and the "prime mover," which are two ways of saying that lots of people cannot get on with their lives until she reveals her plans.

See, she has "frozen the field" for 2016 -- which is a fancy way of saying that everyone else who is thinking about running for president can't say or do anything about it until she either puts up or shuts up. And, as Cillizza notes, the uncertainty is keeping the rest of the would-be Democratic candidates, like Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley and New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, from establishing a donor network: "Every — literally every – conversation that O’Malley or Cuomo has with a major giver would begin with this question: 'Do you know what Hillary is doing?'”

Why would O'Malley or Cuomo know the answer to that question? And what are they supposed to say? "Hey, I don't know, what Hillary's doing, but I have my fingers crossed that she'll decline to run leaving me among the many options for which you'd eventually settle."

So the question is, how long can Clinton afford to keep mum? Is there an absolute drop-dead date on which she has to announce her intentions?

So, when does Clinton need to make a declarative pronouncement about her plans? It’s hard to pinpoint a particular date but it’s hard to imagine her being able to wait much beyond the 2014 midterm elections.

"It's far less time than you might think," Cillizza insists. But no, I was pretty much thinking I had six hundred and forty-three days or so, and that's going to fit my schedule just fine.

Y'all gots to chill.

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