02/08/2013 02:56 pm ET

'Unpretentiousil:' Hipster Cure Finally Available For General Public (VIDEO)

Have you noticed any close friends or family showing signs of "Hyper Involuntary Panic Stress Tension Elevation Response disorder?"

More commonly known as "HIPSTER," the condition has quite a few symptoms, including putting birds on things, growing facial hair, excessive irony, and incessantly talking about bikes. HIPSTER has gone largely untreated, affecting the lives of countless men and women between the ages of 16 and 35, until now.

Introducing "Unpretentiousil," a cure for the common HIPSTER.

For now, Unpretentiousil comes in three flavors: PBR, Natty Light and Soy. Sorry, vegan hipsters. As noted by YouTube commenter Oscar Medina, "There's no Quinoa flavor."

Should you require a cheaper version of Unpretentiousil, look for its generic name, Dedouchefin.

WATCH a mock ad for Unpretentiousil, above.

(Hat tip, Mashable)