02/20/2013 08:12 am ET

Some Chinese Philosophy Might Have Helped Manti Te'o

Recently unearthed in a clay pot during an archeological dig of an independent bookstore in Glen Burnie, Maryland, these new stanzas of the Tao Te Ching appear to bear directly on this year's NFL draft. Was Lao Tzu having a Nostradamus moment? Was the semi-legendary Chinese sage also a closet draftnik? Or is this an elaborate hoax?

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