03/01/2013 01:36 pm ET

Goodnight Spoon

A synonym for parent is hoarder. Yes, you. You are a hoarder. You are hoarding tattered, soiled and busted bookmarks from your children’s lives. There is the Little People Happy Sounds home on the shelf of your garage. You foreclosed on that rundown, non-biodegradable plastic domicile years ago, after your daughter graduated to Monster High. Yet there it is, in the garage. We’ll keep it for the younger cousins to play with, you tell yourself.

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