We know that in order to be female on this earth, we spend way more money than men to live because we live a few years longer, get paid less and spend more on healthcare, to the tune of $849,000 over a lifetime. But what about the softer costs of lady-ness? In order to just be considered feminine, there's a whole bunch a hooey you're supposed to do to beat back the hairy, rough-elbowed forces of nature and maintain a socially constructed definition of femininity. In other words, you gotta keep that shit clean, shaved, perfumed, pampered and coiffed. But have you ever wondered at what risk or personal cost you pursue these demanding standards? Even if you enjoy it? Let's get to calculatin'.