Remember when you were, like, two weeks away from moving into your dorm freshman year, and your biggest worry is “will my roommate be a tool?" I remember those days. Before Facebook, you had no idea if housing paired you with the coolest person ever or a person from whom you would somehow contract scabies. It was pretty scary shit. I was lucky. My freshman year roommate was a saint, and I lived with my best friends during the next three years. We had our moments, but all were easily snuffed out with a quick talk and a couple beers at Bentley’s.
Post-college living is no different. Moving in with someone at any age can be a huge pain in the ass. Everyone has their own living habits, their own shady, behind-closed-doors behavior. It’s a matter of balancing those habits with a little normalcy, understanding and respect. Some people get lucky, and some people get Hedy from "Single White Female." It really can be a terrifying crap shoot of either ending up with a new best friend or possibly requiring a restraining order to get pairs of your underwear back.
When I moved into my UES apartment in 2011, I was extremely lucky. I moved in with my two good friends who happened to be brother and sister. They were living in a gorgeous three-bedroom duplex and needed a third when their other brother moved out. I was so stoked that they were giving me the opportunity to break out of my mom’s house, I did everything I could to be a good roommate. My bartending schedule meant I wasn’t home at night, so my friends and I had space away from each other. It was a great situation. We all pulled our weight, kept the apartment clean and had a great time together.
When Craig announced that he would be moving in with his girlfriend in June, I got stressed. I didn’t know if it would be easy to replace Craig, but I knew Michelle and I loved our apartment and didn't want to move. But after posting a note on Facebook, I got a couple hits, and we seemed to find someone who sounded great.
Clearly, I had been spoiled with Craig. Ten long months later, I have learned some valuable lessons about roommates. Here are five sure signs you’re a shitty roommate, especially if you're a guy living with chicks.
This post is presented in partnership with BroBible.com.