03/07/2013 04:17 pm ET

Field Guide To NYC Douchebags

New York is a wild, untamed city. You'll observe beautiful women, hustling entrepreneurs, and sagacious artists at work in their indigenous environments. You will also encounter many, many genuses of douchebag.

Navigating NYC's wildlife means frequently encountering this puzzling subsector of man, and every so often, shooing them away from the ankles of your female pack as they attempt to pick them off like hyenas after a gazelle. They are successful at times, sadly. 

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