03/18/2013 03:04 pm ET

STFU Parents: Parents Who Freak Out About Baby Names On Facebook

We’ve discussed parents’ yoonique baby name choices in this column several times before, but one thing we haven’t discussed is all the drama surrounding those choices. Did you know that baby name-stealing is a modern day tragedy of mammoth proportions? Well, it is. It’s a tragic epidemic that’s spiraling out of control. Hide yo names, hide yo wives, ’cause bitches be stealing. And if they’re not stealing, then they’re doing something else to anger parents, like mispronouncing little Jhykcen (pronounced “Jackson”) or Espn’s first names, or making up cute little nicknames for children that were NOT Parent Authorized. There’s more to today’s baby names than meets the eye.

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