03/19/2013 10:48 am ET

I'm A Male Sex Writer -- Why Would Anyone Date Me?

The worst kind of conversations happen through formalism, where the things being shared are true and honest, but the reason for their having come up in conversation are defensive and superstitious.

A date is the practice of rhetorical formalism, rote interview answers exchanged in fear of falling afoul of our partner's ideological composition (e.g., I'm not fucking a Republican, an astrologer, a Rutgers grad, a musician, someone who listens to Vampire Weekend) by either over-explaining or repeating the ideological fragments we think will keep a nice happy hour from devolving into a talk radio inquisition (e.g. I canvassed for Obama, I'm a Gemini but I don't take it seriously, I don't even know who Vampire Weekend is).

Read more on xo Jane