The ubiquitous Chris Messina went on "Conan" last night (April 18) for a routine interview that somehow managed to make the host, who celebrated his birthday yesterday, quite uncomfortable.
It started out more or less PG and just went downhill from there -- hilariously though, if we may add. Conan asked Messina, who stars on Mindy Kaling's "The Mindy Project' and will be on the second season on HBO's "The Newsroom" this summer, what his kids think about their dad being in showbiz.
Messina, who has two small children, said they mostly think of him as a clown. Then he explained: "On 'The Mindy Project' we just did this episode called 'The Triathalon' and I was unfortunately written in a speedo," he said, and explained that to prep himself for the role, he sunbathed in his back yard and unfortunately got sunburned. The quick easy Hollywood fix? A spray tan.
"My wife was out for the night and I had my 3-year-old and my 4-year-old to myself," Messina continued, "and this woman comes to the house that I'm just meeting for the first time and she brings me upstairs into my bathroom -- my kids are watching some cartoon or what not -- and she takes out a tent that's almost like a cage and she says 'Okay just take off all your clothes and I'll spray you down.' And I said 'Do you want me to cover my penis or do you want me to get a sock or what do you want me to do?'"
Messina then stood up to show Conan and the audience what it looks like to be spray tanned and continued his story, saying: "and [spray tan lady] said can you cup your balls, can you lift your balls," and literally cupped his balls, much to Conan's discomfort ("Please, it's my birthday!").
Conan then commented about Messina's ease when it comes nude scenes, which prompted Messina's next story.
"I've done [nudity] in plays a lot," said the actor, "and when you're in a play you're backstage and you can kind of fluff a bit. You know what I mean?" he asked a stern, awkward looking Conan. "No, I don't know what you mean," joked Conan. "What you're saying is you can get yourself into a state where you'll be more impressive.?"
"Exactly," said Messina, much to the audience's amusement. He then revealed the difference between movies and plays, saying that in the movie "28 Hotel Rooms" he had numerous nude scenes "and the takes went on for a really long time so you couldn't fluff ... but then what happens, the other day my wife was online and she pointed out a picture and she said 'look, this is a picture of you completely naked from '28 Hotel Rooms'" and my penis was about this big," he said, motioning with his fingers to a small size.
"You want to say I was really cold, I was in an accident," joked Conan, trying to salvage the actor's supposedly wounded pride. "You can't do that first and then explain."
Messina wrapped up his story by pointing out how everything is forever on the Internet. "You're wondering 'How did this man make kids with that?'" he joked.
"Conan" airs weeknights at 11 p.m. ET on TBS.