Apocalyptic comedy "This Is the End" hits theaters this week. However, it's unlikely the world is really about to end -- unless, of course, the following ludicrous events transpire.
Taylor Swift says being jilted by ex-boyfriends not such a big deal after all.
Kanye West enters therapy for low self-esteem.
Zooey Deschanel declares contempt for birds, kittens, vintage dresses.
Kim Kardashian deletes her Twitter account.
Rihanna becomes an advocate for modesty.
Justin Bieber stops dressing like a '90s rapper, begins driving sensible car.
Ryan Gosling reveals he can't get a girlfriend.
Miley Cyrus stops taking selfies.
This stops being adorable.
Jessica Simpson earns Ph.D. in oceanography.