06/13/2013 02:20 pm ET

Gay Wedding Politics: Planning A Same-sex Wedding That Isn't Straight


The other night on Bravo’s reality show Newlyweds: The First Year, the gay couple finally had their wedding. It was an elaborate, highly coiffed affair (what an older gay friend of mine would call “high fag”) that had been planned over the course of many episodes: Fancy cake samples had been tasted; atrocious dance-pop love songs had been specially written, recorded, and choreographed; and Savannah, Ga., venues had been chosen once deemed sufficiently Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. As a fellow gay, I should have been happy to watch two of my kin do that thing for which we’re all supposed to be fighting, but instead, I experienced a familiar feeling of repulsion mixed with guilt topped off with self-righteous superiority. Confession: There are few things I find more skin-crawly than the pairing of the words “gay” and “wedding.”