06/14/2013 12:22 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Next Week's News: 7 Headlines We'll Probably See Next Week (PICTURES)

Here's your forecast for what to expect from the headlines next week.

NSA employees involved in a secret office romance will continue to regret confiding in Edward Snowden.
office romance

Geneticists who predicted future humans will have abnormally large eyes will continue to get letters from Sir Mix-A-Lot asking if it was really only the eyes that will be bigger.
sir mix a lot

Japanese preteens are risking pink eye to participate in the trend of eyeball licking. But even that won't top the risk of a collapsed lung among American teens doing the "cinnamon challenge." USA! USA!
american flag

After the Supreme Court ruled that human genes can't be patented, Antonin Scalia will reference the decision by saying "What you gon' do with all that ass, all that ass inside them genes?" And no one will laugh.
antonin scalia

According to a national poll, Americans' confidence in Congress is at an all-time low. But confidence has hit an all-time high when it comes to animals sitting on top of other animals.
animals on top of animals

Miley Cyrus will find even more new locations to twerk.
miley cyrus twerking

There will be zero stories about dog butts that resemble anything other than Jesus.
dog butt



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