Pinocchio may have no strings that hold him down, but actor Gary Busey's says the wooden puppet has got some big problems in the bedroom.
The Oscar-nominated actor recently explained his thoughts about the fairy tale character on his new web series, "The Busey Zone," in a bizarre, stream-of-unconsciousness style.
Busey's musings begin when he holds up a fishing pole and refers to it as "Pinocchio's 'on-hard.'"
Then he starts rambling.
"Never mind Pinocchio. He's still wondering what the hell this is about," Busey said, not clarifying what "this" is. "He can't lie anymore, 'cause he's fed up with that ... nose f**king."
Busey then explains the problem of having sex with a really long wooden nose.
"It's hard to f**k someone when you don't have a sperm bag, and Pinocchio doesn't have any idea where the sperm farmers are to find sperm," Busey said. "He doesn't receive pleasure and Guiseppe [sic] has to go back and put wood in where the female puppets -- where the crotch is -- so Pinocchio can do it again."
Busey then sums it all up.
"It's a circle of torment and torture, but that's what happens when you're a puppet," he said.