06/25/2013 12:25 pm ET Updated Jun 25, 2013

Herbert Goss, DUI Suspect, Quotes Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart Lines During Arrest; So Do We


The trouble with the world is that it's always one drink behind.

Especially for Herbert Goss, 78, of Pennsylvania, who got such a kick out of Frank Sinatra and Humphrey Bogart that he spent the entirety of his DUI pull-over -- and arrest -- quoting the two manly icons.

At 10 p.m. on June 18, Goss decided that the only thing he owed the public was a good performance. Allegedly stumbling out of his pickup truck, which had just made short work out of another car, he slurred:

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world."

Officers told the Associated Press he smelled like man's worst enemy: Alcohol. Lucky for him, the Bible says love your enemy.

Attempting to speak with police about what had happened in the minor crash, he could only give more lines from "Casablanca" and Frank Sinatra's "My Way," according to the Altoona Mirror. An officer caught him when he stumbled, and he reportedly said, "And now the end is near, and so I face the final curtain."

We think he and his handcuffs have the beginnings of a beautiful friendship. He wasn't even asked to do a field sobriety test, given his performance, and he was smacked with a charge of DUI and they sent him off -- but probably not to Key Largo, WTAE reports.

That's the stuff dreams are made of.



Too Much To Drink?