Ever feel like you're a magnet for drama? It may feel impossible to avoid, but the author of "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom," don Miguel Ruiz, feels he has uncovered the key to eliminating drama from your life so you can fully experience the freedom, love and happiness you deserve. The good news: You are in control and can indeed avoid the drama and sadness interfering with your everyday activities and relationships.
At the root of all your life's drama is the third of Ruiz's "Four Agreements": Don't make assumptions. Making assumptions -- whether it's about what your partner really means by that one-word text, how a friend could possibly be late to your big party or why a stranger made that odd comment -- leads you to create what may be a false scenario in your head, putting you at the center of the latest drama.
Reading from "The Four Agreements" on an episode of "Super Soul Sunday," Oprah quotes Ruiz's words: "'We make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions. We make the assumption that everybody sees life the way we do.'"
We do this, Ruiz says, because as we've aged, we've gathered knowledge that shapes our own point of view and relies on our preconceived notions.
"That knowledge starts speaking in our head with a voice that no one can hear but us," Ruiz explains. "That voice of knowledge is really made by assumptions. It's assuming almost everything. When I say, 'Don't make assumptions,' it's just a way to try to control... all those thoughts."
The way to avoid making assumptions is to make a conscious effort to find the quieter space in our minds. "If we go deeper, if we find a place in between thoughts -- that inner silence -- then we will see that we really can control our thoughts and we can create that silence inside of us," Ruiz states.
"I think women make this mistake a lot in relationships, all kinds of relationships," Oprah says. "You think that person should know how you feel or what you're thinking."
"This happens all the time, all around the world," Ruiz says. "We cannot read minds."