07/02/2013 03:53 pm ET Updated Jul 03, 2013

Mitch McConnell's Crack Campaign Team Notices That His Opponent's Last Name Rhymes With Stuff

If you recall, we got a sneak peek a few months ago at the amazing people conducting the opposition research effort for Team Mitch McConnell Re-Elect when a couple of guys from some outfit called Progress Kentucky listened in on a meeting. They found out that McConnell's crack team of super-sleuths had totally deduced that would-be competitor Ashley Judd was a Hollywood actress who wrote a book and it turned out that book was written in English and that anyone who understood the written language could just read it and learn stuff.

Of course, the potential Judd candidacy never materialized, and the news this week is that Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes has opted to throw her hat into the ring. As Chris Cillizza pointed out at the time, the "lack of good opposition research on Grimes ... is by far the most important thing revealed" by the Progress Kentucky duo:

McConnell doesn’t have much on Grimes. Attacking her as a tool of President Obama might do some damage but as we’ve seen in recent years — Jon Tester in Montana, Heidi Heitkamp in North Dakota — simply linking a Democrat in a conservative state to Obama isn’t a foolproof strategy for victory.

So McConnell's team has flown into action and created a web video that thoroughly proves Cillizza's point. For the time being, all they can devastate Grimes with is having a last name, which rhymes with things. The video goes on to limply test the notion that "attacking her as a tool of President Obama might do some damage." McConnell staffers are hoping that the argument will be best made by nearly two minutes of often-unintelligible, auto-tuned slurry, because that's what the funky-fresh kids are into these days.

McConnell's quality, top-notch team also managed to spell "Mitch McConnell" incorrectly, so you can just tell that it's going to be a super-substantive, issues-based campaign that's worth taking really seriously.

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