1. You've outgrown the collegiate office atmosphere you once loved.
2. And have completely and utterly mastered the art of pretending to work.
3. Like, in reality, you're doing maybe 30 minutes of "real work" per day.
4. So little work, in fact, you're a little worried people are on to you.
5. But honestly, whatever dude. The job sucks.
6. No one here understands your technological brilliance.
7. You realized that the day they gave the freakin' 22-year-old Brown grad the promotion you rightfully deserved.
8. Damn you, 22-year-old Brown grad!
9. Wait, they just gave the 21-year-old Cornell kid a promotion too!?!?
11. And there's another meeting about "2015 goals"!? It's not even 2014 yet.
12. Not to mention co-workers don't even pretend to care about your b-day anymore.
13. But if we're being honest, you stopped caring what they think too.
14. All you care about are the free donuts.
15. No donuts? Looks like it's another day of who-gives-a-crap food then.
16. Because you've already been to every freakin' lunch spot within a 100-mile radius.
17. And can't deal with "cool lunchbox" guy for a single extra day.
18. "NO ONE COME NEAR ME. I HATE YOU ALL." <-- You, everyday
19. Seriously, even the printer has decided it's time to go.
20. And you literally know every single spot to sneak a nap in the office.
21. And you already know exactly how you want to quit.
So, my brother-in-law has resigned from his 9-to-5 job in spectacular fashion. Jerry Maguire meets Masterchef. pic.twitter.com/4JB1gPp1kj
— stuart jackson (@ee_stu) April 16, 2013
So considering all that, it's probably time to go.