07/10/2013 10:38 am ET

We Could All Use A Refresher Course On The Golden Rule When It Comes To Dating


Most of my knowledge about dating predates 2003, as I spent pretty much the entire last decade in a monogamous relationship.

I've never seen "Lost," either, but I have a pretty basic understanding of its major plot twists just by virtue of that fact that I'm on Twitter, have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly and am generally tuned in to what's floating around in the cultural ether. What I'm saying is: I know what "the hatch" is and I also observed plenty about dating culture throughout my non-dating years.

I've looked around on OKCupid and thought to myself, "Daters deserve a medal, because people are fucking horrible." And while for the most part I've always found the process to be mostly fun, I understand that for a lot of people, dating sucks. It sucks to be vulnerable, to put yourself on the line night after night. It sucks to meet people with whom you don't even seem to share a fundamental language.

And as far as I can tell, the only antidote to dating's soul-sucking nature is kindness, and the willingness to see the person you're out with as more than just a jumble of potential assets and weaknesses, but a fellow human like yourself.

Read more on xo Jane