There's something fishy about this player's approach to soccer. It isn't that he flops too much or is easily distracted. It isn't even his admittedly bizarre playing style. It's that he's a goldfish. A goldfish that plays soccer.
A video uploaded to YouTube Thursday shows off the impressive athletic abilities of "Span," a goldfish who repeatedly pushes a soccer ball into a net, prompted by the command of an off-screen trainer.
We aren't so sure about Span's passing abilities, but his training program? Well, it's going swimmingly. And competitors that face off against him might just (ahem) get "schooled."
Bad puns aside, goldfish are more perceptive than often given credit for. Despite the myth that goldfish have a memory of 3 seconds, research indicates they remember for up to 5 months and may have smarts that outpace their trout brethren.
There's even a Guinness World Records category for the "Fish with the largest repertoire of tricks." It's current record holder? A 3-year-old goldfish named Albert Einstein.
"Many fishes -- such as minnows, sticklebacks and guppies -- are capable of the same intellectual feats as, for example, rats or mice," researcher Dr. Mike Webster, of Scotland's St. Andrews University, told the Daily Mail. "They can learn their way around mazes, they can learn to recognise other fish and they can remember which individuals are better competitors."