08/05/2013 03:41 pm ET Updated Aug 06, 2013

John Is A Devil Worshipper, Apparently (VIDEO)

Look, when there are devil worshippers about and your good cross is all the way upstairs, you have to improvise. Luckily, two sticks held in just the right way will do the trick and ward off that evil-doer next door.

Apparently, this took place at 7:20 am as John, sitting in the passenger seat, was being picked up by a friend. John's neighbor ran into his yard and held up a makeshift cross, repeatedly yelling, "John is a devil worshipper!" At one point she even stops a passing car to warn them of the danger.

Hobbies, people. They help so much.

UPDATE: For those wondering, the uploader of the YouTube video commented on it that this incident took place in Shreveport, LA and that his friend John is definitely NOT a devil worshipper.