08/20/2013 05:57 pm ET Updated Oct 20, 2013

HUFFPOST HILL - Larry Summers Not Frontrunner For Key Landscaping Job: Source

Ted Cruz will renounce his Canadian citizenship, though he probably won't miss its perks since he already gets government healthcare. The Daily Caller noted that neither of President Obama's two dogs are white, an important observation given Bo Obama's history of donning berets and intimidating voters outside predominantly white precincts. And Howard Dean is heading to Iowa and New Hampshire, where he will try to test the presidential waters but inevitably spend all his time making the "YEARRRRGGHH!!!" scream for people's Vines. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Tuesday, August 20th, 2013:

LEADING REPUBLICAN OPPOSES CITIZENSHIP FOR DREAMERS - Because, good God, then they could vote. Elise Foley: "House Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) said Monday that they should not be given a new pathway to citizenship, calling into question whether the tentatively named KIDS Act under way will win any support from Democrats... 'Even for them, I would say that they get a legal status in the United States and not a pathway to citizenship that is created especially for them,' [Goodlatte said on Hugh Hewitt's radio program]. 'In other words, they get that legal status if they have an employer who says I've got a job which I can't find a U.S. citizen and I want to petition for them, ah, they can do that, but I wouldn't give them the pathway to a Green Card and ultimately citizenship based simply on their entering the country illegally.' Republicans have said that the bill currently being drafted will differ from the Dream Act, and Goodlatte's comments clarified what those differences might be. The Dream Act would allow undocumented immigrants who came to the United States as children -- often called Dreamers -- to enter a special process to become legal residents and eventually citizens." [HuffPost]

Good news for those of you with cataracts: "The White House declined to weigh in Tuesday on whether President Barack Obama has changed his position on medical marijuana use after the president's onetime choice for surgeon general, Sanjay Gupta, reversed his stance and apologized for misleading the public on the drug's effects." [HuffPost's Sabrina Siddiqui]

Here is some USDA-certified grade-A 2016 speculation: Howard Dean is visiting Iowa and New Hampshire just in time for the anniversary of his historic "I Have A Scream" speech.. He'll also get to put that fantastic dye job on full display!

GOP SENATOR BACKS JANET YELLEN FOR FED CHAIR - Amanda Terkel: "Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.) said on Monday that he would support Federal Reserve Vice Chair Janet Yellen as the board's next chair, making him the first Republican senator to publicly come out and back her. Roberts made his comments in Wichita at the Kansas Independent Oil and Gas Association annual meeting. According to the Wichita Eagle, 'Roberts said he supports Janet Yellen to replace Ben Bernanke when his term as chairman of the Federal Reserve expires at the end of January.' The conservative senator strongly criticized former chief White House economic adviser Larry Summers, who is reportedly one of the frontrunners for the nomination. 'I wouldn't want Larry Summers to mow my yard,' Roberts said. 'He's terribly controversial and brusque and I don't think he works well with either side of the aisle, quite frankly.'" Roberts' honesty is a sign of trouble to come for Summers, who represents everything from the failedstimulus to crony capitalism for the Senate GOP. Surprisingly, blunt condescension has not won Summers friends in the Senate. [HuffPost]

A Democratic strategist texts us: "This may be the first example of bipartisanship that Summers has ever produced."

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - Here are some reasons why it sucks to be one of America's 4 million long-term unemployed: "Being out of work for six months or more is associated with lower well-being among the long-term unemployed, their families, and their communities. Each week out of work means more lost income. The long-term unemployed also tend to earn less once they find new jobs. They tend to be in poorer health and have children with worse academic performance than similar workers who avoided unemployment. The extent to which those differences are due to the duration of joblessness as opposed to job loss itself or differences in the characteristics between the long-term unemployed and other workers is less clear." [Urban Institute]

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A new HuffPost/YouGov poll finds most Americans want to discontinue aid to Egypt. A phenomenon we like to call "People remembering that time we gave all those kalashnikovs to the Mujahidin." Emily Swanson: "According to the new poll, a combined 52 percent of Americans support eliminating military aid the U.S. sends to Egypt, including 28 percent who want to cut off aid until Egypt restores a democratic government and 24 percent who said they'd like to cut off aid no matter what happens there. Twenty-one percent said they would prefer to continue aid as long as it's beneficial to the U.S. and its allies, and 27 percent said they're not sure...Republicans in the HuffPost/YouGov poll were most likely to support withdrawing aid to Egypt, with a combined 63 percent supporting either cutting off aid until it restores a democratic government.. Just under half of Democrats and independents said they would support cutting off aid..." [HuffPost]

IRS 'SCANDAL' FURTHER DEBUNKED BY NEW REVELATIONS - Al Capone's vault actually contains the REAL proof behind the IRS' persecution of conservatives. Sam Stein: "Officials at the Internal Revenue Service were encouraged to flag groups with the word 'emerge' in their names as well as potential successors to the anti-poverty organization ACORN, according to documents released by Democrats on the House Ways and Means Committee on Tuesday. The documents add another complicated layer to the ongoing (albeit diminished) controversy surrounding the IRS screening of Tea Party groups in 2010 and 2011. They also take additional steam out of the Republican Party's insistence that the tax agency was politically motivated against conservative groups when it considered whether or not to grant tax-exempt, 501(c)(4) status. Groups with the word 'emerge' in the name tend to lean more Democratic. As The New York Times previously reported, three such organizations -- Emerge Nevada, Emerge Maine and Emerge Massachusetts -- all were denied tax-exempt status because the IRS determined that they existed strictly to benefit Democratic candidates." [HuffPost]

SENATE IMMIGRATION BILL WOULD CREATE JOBS: REPORT - Far from terking your jerb, the immigration bill passed by the Senate might actually create a jerb for you! Elise foley: "Right-leaning pro-immigration reform group American Action Network began circulating a report Tuesday claiming that a Senate-passed bill would create an average of nearly 14,000 jobs per district over the next decade...other conservatives point to reports like American Action Network's analysis that reform would lead to broad economic gains. The group based its analysis on data from the Congressional Budget Office -- which found the bill would cut the deficit $685 billion over the next 20 years -- and a study by Regional Economic Models, Inc. According to the American Action Network report, at least 7,000 jobs would be created in each district, with an average of nearly 14,000 per district, based on temporary workers and permanent immigration through green cards." [HuffPost]

TED CRUZ TO RENOUNCE CANADIAN CITIZENSHIP - And so ends the tenure of possibly the rudest Canadian in history. CBC News: "U.S. Senator Ted Cruz said Monday that he will renounce his Canadian citizenship. The Texas Republican and Tea Party favourite announced his plans Monday night in a statement. The move comes in the wake of a report by The Dallas Morning News that Cruz holds dual U.S. and Canadian citizenship. Cruz released his birth certificate amid concerns that being born in Canada could derail a possible presidential run by the Tea Party firebrand...In a statement issued Monday night, Cruz said "the facts of my birth are straightforward: I was born in 1970 in Calgary, Canada. Because my mother was a U.S. citizen, born in Delaware, I was a U.S. citizen by birth. When I was a kid, my Mom told me that I could choose to claim Canadian citizenship if I wanted. I got my U.S. passport in high school." [CBC News]

Easier said than done, notes WaPo: "According to the Canadian government, there are six steps to prove eligibility for renouncing one's citizenship. Once eligibility is ascertained, Cruz would have to fill out an application and fork over a $100 fee (the same amount is required to grant citizenship, in case you were wondering).... [To renounce citizenship you must] 1. Be a Canadian citizen... 2. Prove that you are or that you will become a citizen of a country other than Canada if your application to renounce is approved... 3. Not live in Canada...4. Be at least 18 years old... 5. Not be a threat to Canada's security or part of a pattern of criminal activity.... 6. Understand the significance of renouncing your Canadian citizenship." [WaPo]

IT'S ALMOST LIKE POLITICAL CONSULTANTS LACK SCRUPLES - #thistown AP: "Boyd Marcus, a veteran Republican political consultant whose client list has included U.S. House Majority Leader Eric Cantor and former Gov. Jim Gilmore, is endorsing Democrat Terry R. McAuliffe and advising his campaign over GOP nominee Ken Cuccinelli in Virginia's neck-and-neck race for governor. The announcement by McAuliffe's campaign, confirmed to The Associated Press on Tuesday in a phone interview with Marcus, rocked Virginia politics and exposed the clearest sign to date of bad blood within the GOP between its establishment and the tea party conservatives who comprise Cuccinelli's ardent army and control the state Republican Party machinery. Marcus, who most recently guided the aborted gubernatorial campaign of Republican Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling, took the step knowing it would sever many longtime GOP ties for him. But he felt it necessary. 'I was looking at the candidates, and I saw Terry McAuliffe as the guy who will work with everybody to get things done,' Marcus told the AP in a telephone interview." [AP]

MEMBERS OF 1972 MIAMI DOLPHINS INVITED TO WHITE HOUSE, SOME NOT GOING - Even money says this episode won't be made into an inspiring, "42"-style, movie in twenty years. Nick Wing: "A week after announcing plans to travel to the White House for a ceremony commemorating their undefeated 1972 season, some members of the storied Miami Dolphins football team have said they'll be skipping out, due to political differences with President Barack Obama. In an article in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel over the weekend, Dave Hyde reported that as many as five players wouldn't be in attendance with the rest of their former teammates on Tuesday, when Obama is set to honor their unmatched feat of winning all regular season games and a Super Bowl in the same year. 'I want to be careful, because mom said if you have nothing good to say about someone, then don't say anything. I don't have anything good to say about someone,' former offensive lineman Bob Kuechenberg told the Sun-Sentinel, presumably referring to Obama." [HuffPost]

AL JAZEERA AMERICA LAUNCHES - We Creep Sharia, You Decide. Jack Mirkinson and Rebecca Shapiro: "After months of buildup, Al Jazeera America officially came into being on Tuesday, taking sharp jabs at its competitors in the cable news world and promising viewers a different approach to TV journalism. The network launched with an hour-long introduction to what it will be offering. The main message that the promo hammered home over and over again was that Americans were being denied the news they deserved on television. Clips of Bill O'Reilly and Al Sharpton were played, and people in different towns were filmed talking about how underserved they felt... Though the network is available in 40 million households, Al Jazeera America faces a distribution challenge. The network recently took its request directly to viewers, asking potential audience members to ask their cable providers for Al Jazzera America if they do not already provide it." [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here is a baby sloth exercising.

OMG OMG OMG OMG NEW OBAMA DOG OMG OMG OMG - Ashley Alman: "President Barack Obama and his family welcomed Sunny, a one-year-old female Portuguese Water Dog, to the family on Monday, according to the White House. Sunny, who will join the Obamas' four-year-old dog Bo, was described by the White House as 'full of energy and very affectionate.' First Lady Michelle Obama shared a photo of Sunny and Bo on her Twitter account to introduce the pup...The Obama family is making a contribution to the Washington Humane Society in honor of Sunny, according to the White House." [HuffPost]

The Daily Caller makes an important point: "The Obamas do not have any white dogs."


- Popular TV title sequences reimagined for our tech-obsessed world. [http://bit.ly/16XMxuk]

- Speed up Bruce Springsteen and he sounds like Dolly Parton. [http://huff.to/171XZXO]

- Now slow down Dolly Parton's "Jolene" and you get a legitimately wonderful result. [http://huff.to/18HLb8p]

- Hermès made a basketball wroth $13,000. [http://bit.ly/14SloGr]

- Hey girl, add this button to your bookmarks and it will change every image on a website to hot Ryan Gosling pix. [http://heygirl.io/]

- Social media-based telemarketer blocker could end robocalls forever. [http://kck.st/16rby20]

- What Americans think of other states. Spoiler: people hate Texas. [http://read.bi/1cXiIBh]


@owillis: daily caller now working on "obama is also a poopyface" follow-up based on trolllicious traffic

@disalmanac: Today in 1954, @alroker was born. He once shot a man in Reno just to tell him about a low pressure area over Kansas.

@igorbobic: True test of Al Jazeera's new network is how many 'What does it mean?' segments they do on Hillary.

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