In what some are calling "the whitest fight of all time," a pair of riders on Chicago's Metra train line got into in a bizarre altercation caught on video and posted to YouTube earlier this summer.
As the video begins, a man in a black North Face fleece begins counting down before striking another man in a blue fleece, apparently over "breaking the rules" of the Metra's quiet car by making a phone call. (What are the rules? As the man in black explains, simply: "To be quiet in the car.")
In response, the man in blue launches into his own tirade, dropping the fact that he apparently sits on the Chicago Board of Trade, threatening to "cut you in half," and asking, "You wanna be that anal?"
For the record, Metra states cell phone calls do appear to violate the quiet car rules and the agency "expects Quiet Cars to be largely enforced by peer pressure," so there you have it.
h/t Marcus Gilmer