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Surefire Ways To Infuriate Your Restaurant Server

Or how to be the worst restaurant customer of all time.
By 

Screenwriter and freelance writer

When it comes to dining out, there are some courtesies we think just seem like common sense -- like tipping at least 15 to 20 percent, or not standing on your chair. But anyone who's ever been a restaurant server knows all too well that this is not the case, and that customers often drop their manners at the door.

We'd challenge you to find a single waiter or waitress out there who doesn't have at least a few horror stories of customers -- and while some major offenses may be obvious, you may be doing some slightly more subtle things that could land you on your server's bad side. So what are the customer habits guaranteed to make your server hate you? We picked 10 of the worst faux-pas we've heard of, and unless you enjoy the idea of someone that hates you handling your meal, you might want to listen up.

1
Pay your bill in change
Getty
Do you know how much free time servers have at work? Definitely not enough to count $10 in pennies. If you don't want it weighing down your bag, they certainly won't want it weighing down their apron.
2
Go to extreme lengths to Instagram your food
memebase.cheezburger.com
Turn off the flash and get back in your chair, everyone hates you here.
3
Give 4,506 directions for your order
Getty
'No sour cream, extra guac, sauce on the side, add tomatoes, just a tiiiiny bit of cilantro -- not too much or I won't eat it -- warm corn tortillas, and extra crispy chips.'
4
Tip like a douche
Flickr: joelogon
We thought this one would be a given, but it's apparently not. Even if the service was a little less than you had hoped for, 5 percent is likely to earn you some spit-laced food if you ever choose to return.
5
Have the server come to take your order when you're not ready yet
Flickr: alui0000
If you feel like debating whether the salmon or chicken is a better option for 10 minutes with your table mate, you should probably just ask the server to come back in five -- instead of having them stand over you awkwardly wasting valuable time.
6
Answer a phone call at the table
Flickr: Ed Yourdon
Taking a call during a meal is not only rude to your table partner, but also to the people around you -- nobody really wants to hear the details of your dating life while they're trying to eat dinner.
7
Act like you're his/her only table
Flickr: Matt Biddulph
We understand the desire for good service, but asking for refills every two minutes, rare condiments and every type of sugar in existence is likely to earn you some less-than-complimentary nicknames in the kitchen.
8
PDA
Getty
Please, keep your hands (and mouths) to yourselves -- other customers are trying to keep their meals down. Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to make out when you're in public?
9
Ask for things that aren't on the menu
Flickr: Charles Haynes
It exists for a reason, which is giving you options to order. If they could and/or wanted to make you something else, they would've put it on the menu. It's not that hard to understand.

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