10/16/2013 12:36 pm ET

This Is Why Your Tinder Profile Isn't Working


If this is the first time you’re hearing about Tinder, I promise it won’t be the last, especially if I have your phone number. About a month ago I accidentally pushed the wrong button and invited my entire phonebook (1500+ people!) to Tinder. This included ex girlfriends, my parents, my grandma, and a girl I dated for a little while who responded with “Stuart. You already banged me.”

For the uninitiated, Tinder is the closest thing straight people have to Grindr (the very popular hook-up app for gay men). The main difference is that with Tinder, vaginas are involved. When vaginas are involved there tends to be a lot more negotiating, compared to when it’s just penises. Here’s a **very oversimplified** example of the differences between Grindr and Tinder:

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