11/05/2013 04:56 am ET

Cher Takes Over 'Dancing With The Stars' And She's Hilarious, If Sometimes Incoherent (VIDEO)

With Len Goodman out for the week, Cher absolutely took over the show on "Dancing With the Stars." She not only sat in for the head judge, but she also performed ... twice! And, in classic Cher form, her critiques were as erratic as her Twitter feed, and as entertaining as she's been for decades.

“I just thought it was fabulous. You owned it," she told Amber Riley and Derek Hough. "You know? You bought it, you got a T-shirt. You got it.”

“As anyone knows, I don’t know how to call out for pizza, okay?" she said at another point. She threatened to "knee" Bruno Tonioli, and she told Jack Osbourne he looked like a pimp ... "a tango-dancing pimp." It was a compliment. And one critique was apparently too hot for TV, as ABC censored it in its entirety.

Entertainment Weekly's Annie Barrett had a lot of fun, even though Cher handed out mostly 9s -- something Goodman would not do. "She was extremely amusing throughout the two-hour episode ... dramatically delaying her score announcements as if conjuring up the paddles from the sleeves of her magical cloak," she wrote. On the other hand, Buddy TV's John Kubicek thought maybe it was too much. He wrote, "“WARNING: Do NOT play a drinking game where you take a shot every time the name ‘Cher’ is mentioned. You will die.”

"Dancing with the Stars" airs every Monday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

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