Ridiculously Silly Turkey Swag From The Darkest Corners Of Etsy (PHOTOS)

You people really love turkey hats, it turns out.

There is something about the week of Thanksgiving that makes us feel a little loopy. Maybe it's the feeling of being so close to a break, or maybe it's the pages and pages of turkey recipes we've combed through over the last few weeks. It is possible that this feeling is contagious, because when we typed "turkey" into the search bar on Etsy, some really silly stuff happened.

First, the turkey hats. Did you guys know about turkey hats? You can have your own turkey hat, your baby can have one, even your dogs can have turkey hats. This seems like a new development, but it's entirely possible that we've been willfully blocking these things out of our consciousness. It turns out, you can get a turkey-shaped or -themed version of most things on earth, but we rounded up some of the silliest ones for you to enjoy this Thanksgiving.

1
GOBBLE, GOBBLE Turkey Dog Hat
Etsy: Sweethoots
"Please help me."

GOBBLE, GOBBLE Turkey Dog Hat, $22.00 on Etsy
2
Turkey Baby Hat
Etsy: AleksandraNagrant
We're not sure why, but this is making us profoundly uncomfortable.

Turkey Baby Hat, $34.00 on Etsy
3
Turkey Dog Hat
Etsy: poshpoochdesigns
"Please, don't look at me."

Turkey Dog Hat, $10.99 on Etsy
4
Adult Turkey Hat with Ear Flaps
Etsy: yankeerose
Ah, yes. I can see why this version is for adults. It's... bigger.

Adult Turkey Hat with Ear Flaps, $18.95 on Etsy
5
Thanksgiving Turkey Catnip Cat Toy
Etsy: SmallWondersArt
Don't worry, we won't let dogs have all the fun.

Thanksgiving Turkey Catnip Cat Toy, $7.50 on Etsy
6
Turkey Apple Warmer Crochet Pattern
Etsy: CrocheTrend
WAIT, wait. Is an apple warmer a thing? A thing that people know about? With a purpose? Please advise.

Turkey Apple Warmer Crochet Pattern, $4.99 on Etsy
7
Chocolate Turkey on a Pretzel Rod
Etsy: candyscandies
8
Beeswax Turkey Candles
Etsy: catfishcreekcandles
Anyone else concerned that this is actually made of turkey fat?

Beeswax Turkey Candles, 3 for $6.00 on Etsy
9
Thanksgiving Turkey Earrings
Etsy: beyondthebulb
In case you're auditioning to be someone's kooky aunt.

Thanksgiving Turkey Earrings, $12.00 on Etsy
10
Turkey Soap
Etsy: AubreyEApothecary
Don't worry, it's vegan soap.

Turkey Soap, $6.50 on Etsy
11
Thanksgiving Turkey Cross-Stitch Pattern
Etsy: nerdylittlestitcher
12
1971 Wild Turkey Decanter
Etsy: TesoridEpoca
Okay, but seriously, we actually want this one.

1971 Wild Turkey Decanter, $65.00 on Etsy
13
Turkey Nug
Etsy: nugs
Weird on, weirdos.

Turkey Nug, $9.73 on Etsy
14
Turkey Poop Tic Tac Wrappers
Etsy: CustomWrappers4U
Everyone always said that Tommy Goheen threw the best parties. Now we know why.

Turkey Poop Tic Tac Wrappers, $3.50 on Etsy
15
Carved Roast Turkey and Cranberries Dollhouse Miniature
Etsy: HummingbirdMiniature
You have got to be really exciting for Dollsgiving to cough up this chunk of change.

Carved Roast Turkey and Cranberries Dollhouse Miniature, $80.00 on Etsy

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