11/26/2013 01:31 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How To Survive Thanksgiving In 25 Easy Steps

If you're hosting the big feast this Thursday, you'd better be prepared.

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner can actually be really scary.

Everyone else just has to worry about over-eating.

You've got hot ovens to watch out for.

So remember to use protection.

Alternative cooking methods can really backfire.

And don't even think about taking any shortcuts.

Remember: Knives are sharp.

DO NOT get distracted.

After cooking for hours, you might start to hallucinate.

Just relax. You've got this.

Have a glass of wine, but not TOO much wine.

Make sure your guests aren't getting out of control.

Those pumpkin spice candles you love so much? Total fire hazard.

When setting the table, make sure everyone has a seat.

Warning: there's a possibility that your guests won't like the food.

Resist the urge to do this.

Cranberry sauce looks like blood. Just sayin'.

Try not to bite your tongue TOO hard when the conversation turns to politics.

Bring everyone back together with some pie.

But DO NOT eat pecan pie (if you're allergic to nuts).

pecan pie

After the meal, your number one enemy is Tryptophan.

Get outside and throw the ball around.

Slip into something more comfortable.

And have a few laughs.

If all goes well, your Thanksgiving will be as fabulous as this.



Thanksgiving Jokes