WOMEN
12/19/2013 09:21 am ET Updated Jan 23, 2014

8 Painfully Obvious Life Lessons I Learned This Year

Nick Dolding via Getty Images

2013 was a pretty big year for me. I turned 28. I moved across the country. I started doing art again. I got a Twitter reply from Wynonna Judd. But most importantly, 2013 was the year that a shit ton of really important, embarrassingly simple life lessons finally clicked. You know how you can hear something 100 times in 100 different ways before it actually gets through to you? All of the things I learned this year fall firmly into that category: things that I maybe should have learned when I was, like, 10, but for whatever reason, didn’t get until just now. This, my friends, was my year of “getting it,” and here are my humble epiphanies:

1. Don’t wait for apologies to forgive. While mindlessly scrolling through Tumblr one night, I came across this quote: “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” I’m pretty sure my jaw literally dropped when I read it. Instant paradigm shift. I’m really bad about letting resentments linger for a long time, and waiting for people to say the exact right thing before I’ll offer forgiveness. It’s shitty, I know, and I’ve been working on it, but it wasn’t until I read this quote that it all clicked for me: it’s not about the apology from the other person, it’s about the shift that occurs in yourself when you accept it, and we all have the power to create that shift in ourselves. These 13 words have done wonders to heal rifts and help me let go of resentment.

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