12/20/2013 03:59 pm ET

I Was Never In Love With You — The Good Men Project

George Doyle via Getty Images

“This has never been a real marriage because I never really loved you. I married you because I thought that was what I was supposed to do.” 
Those were the words that Todd, my first husband, used to end our marriage. They hit me like a physical blow, shattered me into a million little pieces of jagged pain. After the first raw wave of grief passed, I was hit by shame so intense that it felt like burning ink in my veins. How horrible must I be if my own husband, the father of my children had never been able to love me?

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