We've highlighted plenty of complaint letters covering everything from hilarious insights into subpar airline food to baffling itineraries. But this letter, in which comedy blogger Rich Wisken excoriates JetStar, a budget airline in Australia, is by far the most incendiary.
Having paid extra for a more spacious seat, Wisken says he was particularly appalled to be seated next to an overweight passenger, an affront he describes in great detail, concluding with a request JetStar refund the price of his ticket.
"As I boarded the plane, I mentally high-fived myself for paying the additional $25 for an emergency seat," Wisken opens, before expressing concern after spotting his fellow traveling companion, whom he rather harshly claims to have initially confused with "an infant hippopotamus."
"As I got closer," he continues, "I was relieved to see that it wasn't a dangerous semi-aquatic African mammal, but a morbidly obese human being. However, this relief was short-lived when I realized that my seat was located somewhere underneath him."
From there, Wisken walks readers through his attempts to remedy the situation, including requesting a different seat from flight attendants, only to ultimately return to his original location, where, he says, he spent the remainder of the flight fighting for room.
In an update to the original post, Wisken has also added another item to his initial complaint: Two of his flights aboard JetStar have been canceled by the airline in the last two days.
"You're so lucky that my favourite pastime is wasting both time and money getting to and from airports," he quips. "Imagine how annoyed someone who doesn't LOVE wasting time and money would feel about this situation. Man, I'd hate to be that guy..."
In an email to The Huffington Post, Wisken maintained the experience "was indeed very real" and not a ruse, adding that he didn't anticipate it would bring so much attention.
The Huffington Post reached out to JetStar to confirm details surrounding Wisken's letter but the company declined to comment.
Read the letter in full on his blog, here. (Warning: Letter contains adult language and themes.)