01/09/2014 12:01 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Things Chris Christie Is Not, According To Him (CHART)

We learned several things during Thursday's Chris Christie press conference on the bridge-gate scandal, most importantly, that the New Jersey governor is kind-of the real victim here.

But we also learned several things that the governor is definitely NOT (according to him). Here are those things, in handy pie chart form.

things chris christie is not