Comedian and LA resident Patton Oswalt gave friend Jerry Seinfeld a tour of America's newest emerging hipster stomping grounds during the most recent episode of Seinfeld's web series "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee."
Uncomfortably seated at Handsome Coffee Roasters (sorry, no sweeteners served here) in rapidly gentrifying downtown LA, Oswalt laid out all the qualities one needs to fit in a downtown LA hipster -- and it's not pretty.
According to Oswalt, downtown LA's hipsters are condescending, moody and just a little bit racist. At the same time, they're impossibly hip and on the vanguard of the latest art and fashion trends, so there are pluses and minuses. We've laid out all of Oswalt's suggestions for how to become a downtown LA hipster (or how to watch out for one), with helpful illustrations for each.
THE DOWNTOWN LA STARTER KIT
According to Patton Oswalt
A French Bulldog
"You need a really overbred, not healthy dog, like a french bulldog or something that's been bred for a certain look but it's also kind of dying. When you walk it around, it has to have a harness because its neck is all messed up."
Seinfeld, enlightened after a crash course on downtown LA's newest residents, only has one thing to say to Oswalt:
"You've ruined this whole neighborhood for yourself, you realize that? Now you can't move down here." We have a sneaking suspicion that Oswalt is just fine with that.